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The author with murder in mind (The Argus)

by Lisa Frascarelli

Peter James's cleaning lady recently left a message on his desk which read: "Worried about you! You're reading weird books -- men's pregnancy and women's shoes. Are you OK?"

"I think she saw the books and thought I was going to have a sex change and try to get pregnant," smirks James, who it turns out is not gender confused, just researching his latest novel -- Dead Like You.

"It's about a rapist who takes his victims' shoes, so I've been hanging out in women's shoe shops to see how people behave." And how do they behave? "Pretty unsurprisingly, apart from one guy in a pinstripe suit who was trying on a pair of bling, silver lame, 6in heels."

Luckily, his cleaner hasn't spotted him in LK Bennett or seen the contents of his hard drive which he says is bulging with compromising material. "If anybody looked at my computer they'd think I was really weird -- it's full of foot fetish websites."

James is quarter of the way through what will be the sixth in his Roy Grace series, which sees the detective with a missing wife and a penchant for pies shuffling about in the seamier side of Brighton life. The fifth, Dead Tomorrow, is out next month and follows the story of a desperate mother who turns to the murky world of organ trafficking to find her daughter a new liver.

"Do you know how much you are worth?" (James, who is very excitable, is almost bursting at this point). I don't.

"About a million dollars," he splutters. "Seriously. Your kidneys are worth about $45,000 each, your liver is worth $350,000, your heart and lungs about $350,000, skin, eyes, bones, everything...

"The irony is, as transplant surgery has become more advanced, donors have decreased and the principal reason for this is car seat belts. In the old days, people would hit the windscreen and die of a broken neck. Now they tend to only die if they're mangled or burned."

Grim facts aside, James says he's been wanting to do something on the subject for a long time.

A few years ago he was approached by a documentary maker who told him that in Columbia, criminals were making more money out of organ trafficking than drugs. But the project never came off. "They sent two journalists out there to investigate and they were both killed."

James decided it would be best to tackle the subject from the safety of his Beddingham office, near Lewes, where the only murderous criminals he's likely to encounter are the ones he writes into his best-selling novels. But there have been some unwelcome visitors to the sprawling barn conversion he shares with his second wife, Helen. "When we first moved in there were a lot of spooky goings-on," which James says includes cigar smoke, ringing doorbells and a clothes rail which travelled the length of the library, under its own steam. "Helen has felt someone getting into bed with her in the middle of the night, when I've been away." He raises his eyebrows. "She claims it was a spirit." They enlisted the help of an exorcist, twice, who said some prayers and did a bit of dowsing, since when the house has "felt a lot lighter".

James is interested in the supernatural, which often works its way into his novels. He's also into flashy cars (a red Bentley Continental is one of many cars cluttering his gravel drive), serious research and is in the midst of a battle with a group of travellers residing near his home -- all of which you'd know if you'd been following his latest obsession, Twitter.

"It's fun. I can knock off a Twitter before breakfast. I can have a pop at things," like the travellers, The Real Eating Company in Lewes, which he likes but thinks is "precious" because they don't serve Diet Coke and won't let you smoke outside -- "Hello?". But the author also uses the latest internet obsession to reach the four million fans who buy his novels and who in the past have sent him chocolates, T-shirts emblazoned with the words, "The world's greatest crime writer" and fan mail scrawled on a piece of pretend coffin. But he says the most memorable correspondence he's had is from one of his many fans obsessed with Roy Grace's missing wife, Sandy.

"I had this email, it said: 'Dear Mr James, I just worked out that I'm quite a bit younger than you and I suspect I'm quite a bit fitter than you, which means you're going to die before me. I sincerely hope you've left the secret of what happens to Sandy safely in your publisher's vaults'." Did he reply? "No, but I felt like challenging him to a marathon next year."

Anyway, James is a man who takes his research very seriously. He spends around one day a week out on the beat with Sussex Police, hunting down armed robbers and sitting in on car chases, which he assures me are, "Better than any fun fair ride. Real boy's own adventures."

James, who you may have guessed is half man, half overgrown schoolboy, also works closely with ex Sussex CID man Dave Gaylor, who Grace is based on. In the name of research, James has spent time in the mortuary fridges. "Some years ago they kindly put me on a tray and slid me in. I looked around and there were five bodies. It was the ghost train at Brighton Pier x 10,000."

He has also been buried, or at least boxed up, alive.

"I asked an undertaker if they would put me in a coffin and screw the lid down and leave me for half an hour. I immediately started to regret it. I thought, what if he goes out and gets run over? You can only survive in a coffin for a few hours."

But the research and the writing has paid off. James's novels have been translated into 30 languages and shifted more than four million copies worldwide. He's also struck a deal with ITV to co-produce his book Dead Simple. The script, which James says is "fantastic", has been written by Neil McKay, the man behind Moors Murders drama, See No Evil, but the project has stalled due to "finances". Who does he see playing Grace?

"Well, ten years ago, Daniel Craig, but even if he'd do it now I wouldn't have him. I'd like an unknown. Someone who can become Grace the way John Thaw made Morse himself."

In a former life James was a film producer and so has plenty of (good and bad) experiences with actors.

"Some are a nightmare and some are delightful." Al Pacino who he worked with on The Merchant Of Venice, was "an absolute gentleman". Robert De Niro, who he met on The Bridge Of San Luis Rey, was not.

"De Niro wanted a private jet and goat's milk because he wanted to get into character. He was playing an 18th century archbishop who would have probably crossed the Channel on a f***ing raft!" But De Niro's behaviour was dwarfed by that of Bonnie And Clyde actor Michael J Pollard and his continent-sized ego.

James was called out to the Hyatt hotel in Montreal where he found the actor, a girl and a crazy cockerel.

"It was flying around and squawking and crowing and I was trying to catch it."

But dysfunctional fowl and difficult actors are a long way from James's Brighton beginnings, where his father was an accountant and his mother was Cornelia James, glove-maker to the Queen. His sartorial legacy means he's particular about appearances. Scuffed shoes are a pet hate "You never see a detective in a pair of scuffed shoes", as are grey ones, "If I see a bloke in a business suit and a pair of grey shoes I immediately think, hmmm. Terrible." But a bloke in a pinstripe suit and 6in heels, well, "that's just Brighton".

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Dead Tomorrow - The Argus Newspaper Serialisation!

I've always been a massive fan of the Sussex daily newspaper, The Argus, right from when I was 15 years old and they gave me my first holiday job. I was working for the late Jack Tinker (who rose to become one of the most revered theater critics in the country) when he was working as the paper's film critic. I had been there just two days and was very excited, as the following morning I was to accompany him to the Brighton press screening of In Search Of The Castaways, starring Maurice Chevalier and Hayley Mills.

At 7am the following day I had a call from Jack, his voice all croaky, saying he was terribly sorry but he was down with the lurgy - I would have to go to the press screening all on my own and interview Hayley Mills! So, I went along, shaking like a leaf, trying to look all grown up and trying to pretend I went to these things every day of the year... I turned up with my reporter's spiral notepad and a pen; after the film was over, and we were all assembled in the manager's office of Brighton's Regent Cinema, I plucked up the courage and walked over to the teenage movie star. On screen in the film she had been breathtakingly beautiful. But in real life, although still beautiful she was flawed - to my amazement, just like me, she had zits!!!! Somehow, to me, that made her human rather than a goddess. She was utterly delightful, and instantly put me at my ease, although I still pretended that doing an interview like this was something I did everyday, and I scribbled hard with my pencil, trying to make it look as if I was writing shorthand. The downside was that afterwards I couldn't read a word I had written!

Since then the Argus has featured fondly in my life in many ways, and it appeared in some detail in my novel Twilight, in which the central character is a young female crime reporter working there. It appears, of course, in all the Roy Grace novels, with its fictitious crime reporter, Kevin Spinella, being both a thorn in Roy's side but also, at times, a big help to him.

Now, I'm delighted to say, the Argus now features in my life prominently in a new way; from June 1st to the 5th my new novel, Dead Tomorrow, is being serialised. You can sneak a preview at the book either by buying the newspaper, or online at http://www.theargus.co.uk/competitions/deadtomorrow/

PEEBY'S LATEST

Every year my lovely friend, Peter Betts, the brilliant cartoonist Peeby, does a cartoon on the title of my new book.

I've just received this one from him in advance of the publication date of June 11th for Dead Tomorrow, and love it! Hope you enjoy it too.


I Met Jeremy Clarkson In The Back Of A Police Car

Woody Allen famously said, "Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing."

Well, clearly he's never been in a police car during a serious pursuit. And I have to disagree about the laughing bit. Great sex does not have to be exclusive of humour. But pursuit driving certainly does. One of the most exhilarating moments of my life was a 45 minute long car chase in and around Brighton a year ago, in pursuit of a stolen vehicle. With a total of 7 cars, including dog-handlers, involved the suspect was safely stopped and arrested, but I was on an adrenaline high for days after and I suspect the police officers involved were, too.

I spent last Thursday in a series of marked and unmarked police cars, watching officers going through various stages of response and pursuit driving training, in the company of the senior Sussex Police Driver Training Officer. The highlight was traveling from Lewes to Dunsfold and back in an unmarked high-powered Volvo, with a police Armed Response Unit officer going through his final stages of high speed driving assessment. We drove on the blues and twos all the way there and back, and the experience of being with a safe, competent driver, who really knew what he was doing, driving at well above the national limit for the best part of an hour and a half, was a rare treat, and reminded me of the glorious days of driving, when I was a child, before we had the 70 limit (and the fun still to be had on German Autobahns - where I got my Aston Vanquish up to 185mph a few years back!)

Then I was in for another, unexpected treat. Dunsfold, a disused aerodrome in Surrey, is where the Police do their skidpan training. But... it is also where Top Gear is filmed. As we arrived, we saw a blue Jaguar doing a series of high-speed power slides past a camera crew. We stopped to watch for some minutes, then the Jaguar came over to us and Jeremy Clarkson climbed out! He walked over to the car, curious to know who we were, suspicious that we might be journalists sneaking pictures. When he saw the police uniforms he relaxed and was very pleasant and chatty. So now I am one step nearer to one of my dreams - to do that Top Gear circuit sprint in a reasonably priced car.....

Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Clarkson at the helm filming Top Gear


Jeremy Clarkson


Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy PJ at the helm on the skid pan, under the eagle eye of Roger Pitts, Senior Driving Instructor and Tony Case HQ CID Senior Support Officer


Jeremy Clarkson


Jeremy Clarkson

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